09 Apr 2013

On loneliness

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Stress relief & sleep support

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Amid all the research and writing we read on happiness, there’s a term that’s been floated in the last ten years: ‘The loneliness epidemic’. It’s such a big issue that the Australian government has shaped policies to address it. And not just in Australia, but in other highly industrialised countries.

Think tank The Australia Institute estimates that in the eight years between 2001 and 2009, 30 percent of Australians experienced loneliness.

“More tellingly,” it writes in its report All the lonely people: loneliness in Australia, “the proportion of people transitioning into, and out of, loneliness increased over this period, with 13 per cent experiencing repeat episodes of loneliness.”

Here were some other key findings:

People living in lone person and lone parent households were on average almost twice as likely to experience loneliness as people living in couple households.
The risk of experiencing loneliness was greater for adults living with children.
Couples with children were lonelier than couples without children.
Men and women experience loneliness at different times in their lives.
In the period studied, more men (36 per cent) recorded episodes of loneliness compared with women (29 per cent).
The intensity of loneliness increases for men up to the age of 60 years before reducing again.
In contrast, the level of loneliness that women experience is greater in their younger years and decreases in later life.
Amongst younger people (aged 25-44), men were four times as likely to live alone and were more than twice as likely to be lonely.

The reasons for loneliness are admittedly fairly complex.

Here are three possible reasons for loneliness (the three ‘Ds’) according to US journalist Kerby Anderson:

Death: As people live longer, there is a greater possibility that one mate may die. After years of companionship, these people may find themselves alone and unable to relate to other couples.

Divorce: Baby boomers have produced the highest divorce rates in history. This has left many children in the care of only one parent. A single parent must then struggle to support, care for, and nurture them—with little quality time to spare. Lonely children become lonely adults, often unable to function socially because they are not emotionally equipped to relate to others. This tragedy perpetuates itself across generations. Divorce tears apart the family unit, often isolating those who were members of a once-cohesive group.

Deferred Marriage: Adults today marry much later in life—living alone longer before marriage. Additionally, many millions ‘live together’ and never tie the knot. This commitment-free lifestyle leads to easily dissolved, superficial attachments, which rarely develop into close, long-lasting relationships.

Knowing the triggers for loneliness makes us all more aware that when you go out of your way – and reach out to someone who may be feeling disconnected – it can make a bigger difference to his or her wellbeing than perhaps you thought imaginable.

Here’s a quote from Tuesdays with Morrie (if you haven’t read it, do so! Trust me – it will probably change your life):

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."

If this is a topic that interests you, please drop me a comment below as I’d love to explore it further with the wider Blackmores community – after all, happiness and feeling connected is a huge part of being well.

References available on request

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