Want to shake up your life in 2012? Make New Years’ Resolutions that move in – permanently.
I reckon that most New Years’ Resolutions fail for two reasons:
1. They’re just too big (I want to lose weight, get fit, find a partner, be happier, change my job)
2. They’re too vague (see the above!)
The more honed-in and defined your goal is, the more likely you are to pull it off and effect change.
“It’s hard to have a fulfilled life if you don’t have a plan,” writes Sophie Scott in her book Roadtesting Happiness, springing off thoughts from Sydney psychologist Dr Tim Sharp.
“Many people walk through life without a clear direction or sense of where they want to end up. Whether it’s a three-month or five-year plan, writing realistic, modest and achievable goals will give you a sense of achievement,” she writes.
“That means instead of making a broad statement like ‘I want more friends’, it’s more effective to set up a specific goal, such as ‘I will contact one acquaintance every day this week’.”
Use this philosophy to set up a plan for change.
Then, think about these questions from Tim Sharp’s ‘making changes’ tips (he’s a specialist in turning lives around, I’ve interviewed him before and he’s pretty amazing, and surprisingly modest):
What do you want to be different?
“Specify exactly would like to change. If you are feeling happier in 6-12 months time, what will you be doing then that is different to what you are doing now?”
How can you frame your goal in a positive way?
“Instead of stating your goal as ‘to stop sleeping in,’ rephrase it by saying: ‘My goal is to get up by 8:00am every morning.’”
What are your short- and long-term goals?
“Often, a number of short-term goals need to be completed in order to achieve longer term goals. You can think of these as rungs you need to climb to reach the top of a ladder. Where possible, set specific dates for completion of each goal.”
How can you break down those goals into even smaller steps?
“For example, if your goal is to find a new job, consider what steps you would have to take to achieve this. You might have to prepare a resume (or update an old one), speak with an employment consultant, look in the newspaper, and so on. Once again, set a date for the completion of each step.”
How can you reward yourself when things do change?
“Recognise your achievements. Each step you take is an achievement, and it indicates you’re on your way to achieving your goals.”
True story
Often changing one thing about your lifestyle can have a domino effect and trigger change on a much greater level. Check out this story from ‘Ann’, as told to Sophie Scott:
I am not a fanatic, but I walk [for] an hour everyday. Occasionally I’ll do something different, such as going to the gym or swimming, but walking has been my mainstay throughout. I have made a commitment to do that rain, hail or shine. Often I’m up at 5:30am to fit it in, but it has become part of ‘me time’ and I enjoy it.
Those many walks allowed me regular time to think about what I really wanted, and the time to analyse how I was thinking about things and how to achieve my goals. The change… gave me a lot more energy.
Have you successfully made a big change to your life? If so, what was your secret? (Spread the love.)
References available upon request